Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers have a bad day?

My tire was thumping…
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don’t fret about it…
She moved in with me.

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Looking back over the years

that we’ve been together,

I can’t help but wonder…

“What the hell was I thinking?”

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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

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I’ve always wanted to have
someone to hold, someone to love.

After having met you … I’ve changed my mind.

————————————– ——————————-

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am…
That you’re not here to ruin it for me.

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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go…

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You’ll probably need it again.

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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad !
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

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When we were together,
you always said you’d die for me.

Now that we’ve broken up,
I think it’s time you kept your promise.

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We have been friends for a very long time.
Let’s say we stop?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I’m so miserable without you
it’s almost like you’re here.

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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

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Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we’re having you put to sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter’s a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it’s really good pay

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