I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ‘Guess’ on it.
So I said ‘Implants?’
She hit me.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
How come they choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go ‘skinny dipping,’ now I just ‘chunky dunk.’
Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
Wouldn’t you know it….
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Have a great day and enjoy!