Halloween Joke (Drunk Encounters Ghost)

Hello, everyone–

It’s a quiet, cold day here.  Hard to believe Halloween’s just a month away, so here’s a joke to get us in the mood:

Bed sheets

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put.  He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

 In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of
 bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out
 the hospital window.

 A drunk was walking
 by the hospital when the
 sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing,
 and swinging his arms violently trying to get the
 unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled
 sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

 As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet,
 staring down at the sheets, a hospital security
 guard, (barely containing his (laughter), and who
 had watched the whole i ncident, walked up and asked,
 ”What the heck is going on here?”

 The drunk, still staring down replied: “I think I
 just beat the shit out of a ghost.”

 Happy Halloween

Some Jewish Proverbs to contemplate as Rosh Hashana – begins

As you teach, you learn.
- Jewish Proverb

A mother understands what a child does not say.
- Jewish Proverb

Don’t look for more honor than your life merits.
- Jewish Proverb

Worries go down better with soup than without.
- Jewish Proverb

Don’t live in a town where there are no doctors.
- Jewish Proverb

Do not be wise in words – be wise in deeds.
- Jewish Proverb

God couldn’t be everywhere, so he created mothers
- Jewish Proverb

Pride is the mask of one’s own faults.
- Jewish Proverb

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
- Hal Borland

Truth is the safest lie.
- Jewish Proverb

Never trust the man who tells you all his troubles but keeps from you all his joys.
- Jewish Proverb

Don’t open a shop unless you know how to smile.
- Jewish Proverb

What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t invent with your mouth.
- Jewish Proverb 

 

And last but not least………………

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start of old habits.
- Anonymous

 

 

Sarah Palin in a swimsuit–watch the video!

Here she is, Miss Alaska, strutting her stuff in the swimsuit competition:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/09282008/news/nationalnews/new_pictures_and_video_reveal_sarah_pali_131150.htm

Another Sunday Sermon: A Visit to McDonald’s

Hello, friends,

I thought I’d share this inspirational item from my Inbox with you–have a wonderful Sunday!

Bobbi

Breakfast at McDonald’s


 
This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!):

 



I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college  degree.

 



The last  class I had to take was Sociology.

 



The teacher  was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human  being had been graced with.

 



Her last  project of the term was called, ‘Smile.’

 



The class was  asked to go out and smile at three people and document their  reactions.

 

 

I am a very  friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I  thought this would be a piece of cake,

literally.

 



Soon after we  were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to  McDonald’s one crisp March morning.

 



It was just  our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

 



We were  standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone  around us began to back away, and then

 



even my  husband did.

 



I did not  move an inch… an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me  as I turned to see why they had moved.

 



As I turned  around I smelled a horrible ‘dirty body’ smell, and there standing  behind me were two poor homeless men.

 



As I looked  down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was  ’smiling’

 



His beautiful  sky blue eyes were full of God’s Light as he searched for  acceptance.

 



He said,  ’Good day’ as he counted the few coins he had been  clutching.

 



The second  man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the  second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his  salvation.

 



I held my tears as I stood there  with them.

 



The young lady at the counter  asked him what they wanted.

 



He said, ‘Coffee is all Miss’  because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the  restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be  warm).

 



Then I really felt it – the  compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man  with the blue eyes.




That is when I noticed all eyes in the


restaurant were set on me, judging


my every action.

 



I smiled and asked the young lady  behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate  tray.

 



I then walked around the corner to  the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on  the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman’s cold  hand.

 



He looked up at me, with tears in  his eyes, and said, ‘Thank you.’

 



I leaned over, began to pat his  hand and said, ‘I did not do this for you. God is here working through  me to give you hope.’

 



I started to cry as I walked away  to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and  said, ‘That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me  hope..’

 



We held hands for a moment and at  that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given  were we able to give.

 



We are not church goers, but we  are believers.

 



That day showed me the pure Light  of God’s sweet love.

 



I returned to college, on the last  evening of class, with this story in hand.

 



I turned in ‘my project’ and the  instructor read it.

 



Then she looked up at me and said,  ’Can I share this?’

 



I slowly nodded as she got the  attention of the class.

 



She began to read and that is when  I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to  heal people and to be healed.

 



In my own way I had touched the  people at McDonald’s, my son,the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a  college student.

 



I graduated with one of the  biggest lessons I would ever learn:

 



UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

 



Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to






LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS –


NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

 



There is an Angel sent to watch over you.

 



In order for her to work, you must pass this on to the people you want watched over.

 



An Angel wrote:


Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart

 



To handle yourself, use your head..


To handle others, use your heart.

 

           





God Gives every bird it’s food, but He does not throw it into its nest.

Ramblings of an Older Mind (from an Older Friend)

Good morning, faithful blog friends,

Here’s something that arrived in my Inbox:

Ramblings of an Older Mind

 

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can’t afford one.
So, I’m wearing my garage door opener.

 

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.

 

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

 

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is ‘when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.’  I really like this one!!

 

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it ‘Pumping Rust.’

 

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!

 

I know, when people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, ‘Oh, have you got a cat?’
Just once I want to say,
‘No, it’s for company!’

 

Employment application blanks always ask ‘who is to be notified in case of an emergency.
‘I think you should write, ‘A Good Doctor!’

 

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

 

As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve. AMEN

 

‘ Enjoy Your Days & Love Your Life’

Sunday Sermon: Stop Complaining!

Get your tissues out!
 

We are very, very fortunate… but it’s so easy to forget how lucky we are.  This is a great reminder!
Count your Blessings…because it could be worse….
 
 


 
 
 
If you think you are unhappy, look at them
 
If you think your salary is low, how about her? 

If you think you don’t have many friends…

 


When you feel like giving up, think of this man

If you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as he does?

If you complain about your transport system, how about them?

If your society is unfair to you, how about her?

 

Enjoy life how it is and as it comes

Things are worse for others and is a lot better for us J  

 


 

 

Baywatch Babe Sarah in a Swimsuit: Palin’s Beauty Contest Piks–for REAL

Palin and McCain are like Beauty and the Beast. Here she is, Baywatch beauty Sarah Palin, in the swimsuit contest (photos supplied by a fellow contestant):

 palin

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1063272/Pitbull-swimsuit-Exclusive-pictures-Sarah-Palins-days-beauty-queen.html

Say what you will about her, but the pitbull with lipstick is a knockout in a swimsuit.  What do you think, would Palin win a VP swimsuit contest?

Bobbi

Last night’s presidential debate–any winners?

Hello!

What did you think of last night’s presidential debate?

Early on, Obama looked/sounded great and McCain was all rhetoric.  Later on, Obama became flustered and sounded unsure of himself, while McCain kept his composure.

I would say that Obama won only in that he tried focus on his detailed plans for change.  McCain spent too much time attacking Obama’s record and too little time on what he would actually do to improve things. (He keeps on referring to some sort of “plan”–but he has yet to reveal what it is.  I don’t think he actually has one other than his mention of building nuclear power plants, which will never happen.)

It’s the VP debate I can’t wait to see–

How about you?  What did you think of the debate?

Hope you’re enjoying the weekend–

Bobbi

Paul Newman–Dead at 83–we’ll miss ya, good lookin’!

Hello, gentle reader,

Perhaps you’ve heard the sad news–Paul Newman, with those blue eyes extraordinare, died from cancer.  We’ll never forget him:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/09272008/news/nationalnews/paul_newman_dies_at_83_130991.htm

RIP.

I thought Newman was at his sensual best in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w9UX973lXU&feature=related

How about you? What are your favorite “Paul Newman moments”?

Bobbi

Bristol Palin drug video/More on Sarah Palin’s lover

Well, friends,

As we wind down the week, what should I see at my local supermarket (and visit online)–but the National Enquirer, you know, the source of all things true.

First, they claim to have 3 sworn affadavits and a polygraph test to show that while she was mayor of Wasilla, Ms. Palin cavorted with her husband’s business partner, Brad Hanson (and what a cute hunk he is: http://www.mahalo.com/Brad_Hanson):

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/national_enquirer_world_exclusive_sarah_palins_secret_lover_revealed/celebrity/65481

Then The National Enquirerclaims there’s a video of Bristol, wild child of Wasilla, doing pot. If that’s not enough, the mag goes on to say Bristol’s shotgun fiance, Levi Johnston: http://www.usmagazine.com/news/new-levipalin-draft sells OxyContin):

http://votepalin.wordpress.com/2008/09/19/national-enquirer-sept-29-issue-bristol-and-the-drug-video/

I kind of pity poor Bristol–first her sex life and now her recreational drug activities are part of the national agenda.  It must be kind of rough on her, being a teenager and all.

Sarah Palin’s oldest son, Track, apparently likes OxyContin too:

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2008/09/meet-track-palin-drug-addict.php

Palin seems to have forgotten her wedding vows–it’d be great if she spent more time with her husband and children.  (And, btw, I’d say the exact same thing if she were a man.)

Have a good weekend, everyone–oh, and I’ll be home with my family the way Palin and her husband should be!

…btw…

What do you think about all of this? Do you think Sarah Palin’s a good mother and wife? Would you like to have her as your mother/wife?

Bobbi

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